윤대성 作 "너도 먹고 물러가라"
번역 류영균
CHARACTERS
PARK PANSOO Past 40
A blind fortuneteller.
Also does the role of Narrator
MOJOLI Just 30.
Mistress of Hoh Ka-lim, a millionaire in town
TIME : Anytime
PLACE : Scene 1 ― The blind fortuneteller's house, which can be represented with a piece of grass mat
Scene 2 ― an alleyway
Scene 3 ― A nearby swamp
As the scene opens, Park Pansoo appears as the narrator. He puts on a pretentious dignity. He has a waliking stick in his left hand and a long bamboo smoking pipe swaying in his left hand and a long bamboo smoking pipe swaying in his right hand. He comes down to center stage, looks around the audience, and clears his throat to start his narration.
NARRATOR : Once, a blind fortuneteller named Park Pansoo lived near a little bridge over the Chong-Gye Brook which used to flow across Seoul. Since he was known to be very good at exorcizing or calming spiteful evil spirits ― not to mention fortunetelling, he enjoyed much variety of customers from village housewives to wives of National Assembly members and even some Cabinet ministers whose names you will instantly recognize.
He had so many customers crossing the threshold of his house all the time that the wooden threshold was quite literally worn out becoming almost shiny and slippery.
Although his business of fortunetelling has become a little slack during the last several years, the blindman is not very much concerned about it at the point when this scene unfolds. Well, the fact is that he no longer needs to worry about other people's fortunes. He made quite a fortune for himself after all those years of a booming business. As a fortuneteller with an occult power renowned all over the town, he worked his ass off day and night for the last couple of decades and earned enough money to buy several pieces of land and a couple of tall buildings in the downtown area. Now he tries to move through the world in a lordly and dignified manner.
The only thing that really worries him now is the fact that though he is in his 40's, he is stioll an innocent bachelor, who hasn't had a chance to learn of the abstruse interaction of yin and yang between the opposite sexes ― believe it or not.
Though his eyes are blind, his body and mind are not blind at all. He never spends a single moment without a bitter feeling about his bachelorhood.
since he doesn't have many customers these days, he spends most of his day sitting out on thye sunny side of the floor smoking his pipe and daydreaming. Whenever he dreams of that touchy subject ― getting a woman and planning his own family, he unnecessarily clears his throat several times with his hollow eyes blinking in a very nervous manner.
The time is what the ancients called "the season of flower-blooming morning and moon-rising evening," by which they meant to depict the full-fledged aroma of balmy spring. Our hero Park Pansoo, the blind fortuneteller, is sitting out on the floor of his office as usual enjoying the spring sunshine as nice and warm as a pussycat's fur. Affected by the cozy weather, he is again daydreaming half-asleep and half-awake.
Par Pansoo : (Playing the blingman, he nervously blinks to reveal the white of his eyes, feels for an ashtray and knocks the ashes from his Pipe.) Ah..a..a..a.., what a nice weather! Too bad that I can't see those wonderful signs of springs ― bamboo sprouts budding out, plum blossoms bursting, and greens of trees making shade, butterflies flying . . .
Well . . . . I can feel them though. It's spring all right. (He listens as if he heard something. Somewhat dissapointed, he smiles a sad smile.) Well. . . . I can hear them, too. (In a quite matter-of-fact tone)Chirp! Chirp! Coo! Coo! Flap! Cuckoo! Caw! Caw! Caw! Those are birds making noises. Blob! Blob! Splash! Splash! Shshshsh . . . . Shwa sh. .sh. . sh. . wa! Kkkrrrrrrrr!! Kkkwarrrrrr! These are waterfalls pouring down. (Smiles again and then sighs) Although I am caged in this shabby little place jammed in by skyrocketting modern buildings, I've been living content so far listening to train whistles, car honks, peddlers yelling, husbands beating their wives, and all the other nuisances as if they were birds singing. I've been listening to sewage water flowing down the brook, toilets flushing, the lady next door making water into her chamberpot as big as beehive as if they were sounds of deep mountain waterfalls.
Frankly, I am getting tired of all those make-believe games these days. I gusee what I miss most after all is a silverly female voice ringing around like a pearl rolling on a jade plate. (Heaving a deep sigh. Lost in thoughts for a while. Pretty soon, he drops his head to doze off.) Ooops!(He is startled by something while dozing and wakes up.) What does this possibly mean? I've just had a dream of a magpie urinating on my head. That means I will soon hear of something. But, that something must be of an awful smell. Eekk!! (The blindman whistles and clicks his tongue calling his dog. As if the dog came near him,) Tsk! Tsk! Tsk! You lie down right there and just bark when somebody shows up at the door. I think I'd better change my clothes.(Makes an expression as if he was very pleased with th dog's obedient behavior. As he takes a posture to undress, unties his belt and takes his pants about half-way down, Mojoji, a girl of age about 30, appears full of flirtation.)
Mojoli : Yoo-hoo! Anybody bome?
Park Pansoo : (Holds his pants and tries to pull them up) Who is it there?
Mojili : Well! Well! You are home. Uncle Park. Don't you remember me? I am Miss Mojoli, who used to work at the Bright Moon Restaurant around that corner.
Narrator : (When the blindman blinks his eyes a couple of times and then opens them, he turns himself into the narrator.) That voice! That's no doubt the very voice he's long been dying to hear. He flings himself in the air and dashes out in stocking feet to the door, and grabs her hands . . . . (The narrator actually runs out to the door delighted. As he fumbles with her hands as if kneading flour for rice cake, he turns himself into the blindman.)
Park Pansoo : What a surprise! You are alive after all! Well, well, well! Come on in! What wind brought you here? You got quite plumpy since I saw you! Sit down! You smoke? (Gropes for tobacco and offers it to her.)
Mojoli : Thank you. But, I gave up smoking.
Park Pansoo : Well, then, how about a piece of rice candy bar? (Miming the act of breaking the candy bar into two.)
Mojoli : Pooh! Who eats rice candy bar these days?
Park Pansoo : You don't eat rice candy! Hmm! I bet you eat only chocolate, then.
Mojoli : (Pulling playfully the blindman's pants that haven't been yet pulled quite up to the waist) How come you have our pants hanging under your belly button?
Park Pansoo : (Pulling the pants in a hurry, embarrassed) Ah! Well! Huh Hmm! So, what are you doing now? Are you still working?
Mojoli : Well, I got married. What else?
Park Pansoo ; (Greatly dissapointed) Got married? what did you do that for?
Mojoli : Really now! What are you taliking about?
Park Pansoo : No! Nothing! I didn't mean anything. So, you are having fun?
Mojoli : Fun? I'd rather say I am having a hard time.
Park Pansoo : Why on earth did you get married if you are having a rough time? You should've stayed in the Bright Moon Restaurant so that I could've visited you every now and then.
Mojoli : Good Gracious! What do you know! You didn't expect me to be a plaything like that for the rest fo my llife, did you? I attempted to turn over a new leaf and to have fortune on my side. To be a hostess of a decent family or something.
Park Pansoo : Oh! Yes! Sure! I guess you are doing pretty well. You have a fancy dress! (Feels her dress) So, who is this lucky man?
Mojoli : Well, my husband is . . . he is . . . he just owns a building downtown near the Chong-Gye Brook.
Park Pansoo : A building?
Mojoli : Well, the fact is he had a small patch of paddy land south of Han River. He became a mushroom millionaire overnight when the government decided to build an expressway through his rice paddy and bought the land from him. That's what I heard.
Park Pansoo : Oh! My! How lucky he was